Oh No, I’m becoming THAT kind of Christian


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When I first started this project I asked that God reveal to me the Truth.  I was hopeful that the Truth meant everyone was “right” like what the Universalists believe.  I was hopeful that in my search for understanding I’d see that the Qur’an could work in parallel with the Bible, the same way the Old Testament of the Jews works in parallel with the New Testament for the Gentiles.  I was optimistic that enlightenment could be achieved through strict Buddhist meditation and that one could experience what Deepak Chopra refers to as “pure potentiality,” a freedom from self and a glimpse of the Ultimate Divinity that is God.  I had used statements such as “Father Abraham is present in Judaism, Islam, and Christian history, therefore, we are all worshiping the same God” and meditated on such simple statements as John’s “God is love” because I could certainly find Love in all religions and this was proof that God must be present in each one of them.  I did this in order to keep my mind and heart open to what others believed.  When I met with the Mormons early in my search I thought “If they believe in Jesus, they’re Christian, who cares about all this Joseph Smith stuff?” but I quickly learned something:   God cares.  He cares what we believe.

I had this longing in my heart for the Universalist point of view to be spot on because I wanted to see that if God was so great, He’d appeal to all people in whatever form worked best for them.   I hoped that the True God of All had only one mission in mind for all of us; to do our best to be “good people” as our testament to God.  I wanted to believe that Jesus was the Son of God but that the story alone wasn’t as crucial as the traditional Christian church made Him out to be.  I wanted to think that eternal hell wasn’t really a prophetic promise from God directed at the unbeliever, but instead, a parable of what people who weren’t “good” would experience.  Furthermore, I wanted to believe that we were all inherently “good” and not these prisoners of sin like the Bible made us out to be.

But here I am, 5 months into this search and I’m finding I’m becoming one of those Christians I’ve always disliked:  the Christians who believe that they have it “right” because they have faith in Jesus Christ.  By just believing that Christ is the only way, we must admit that we believe any other way somehow falls short.  Well, low and behold, I am one of those believers without ever actually wanting to be.

Here I am thinking I’m so non-judgmental and understanding of all faiths, but deep in my heart, I believe that Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to heaven. What does that say about me?  Is this God changing my heart to see the Truth for what it is or am I just becoming another arrogant Christian, battling the forces of evil within my judgmental self? 

I struggle with even writing these words publicly because for those reading it who don’t believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, I’m talking about what I believe about your destiny if you don’t turn your life over and submit to Him as your Lord and Savior.  And I am TRULY sorry that I think such things because at this point, it just don’t seem fair from where I’m sitting.  How is anyone to be held accountable for knowing that Christ is the Way, Truth, and Life when God doesn’t really make it very easy for us with all these other religions and half-truths fogging up the picture?

It hurts my heart to think that I’m becoming one of those know it alls who stopped searching for God because they’re convinced they found Him.  In the same breath, if it’s the Truth (which I think it is) how can I keep this life saving message from those I love? It’s so joyful and amazing that I couldn’t even keep it from my worst enemies if I tried! 

So I guess it’s true:  I’m becoming THAT kind of Christian.


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  • Dusty Rayburn

    Dusty Rayburn May 21, 2010

    I too am that kind of Christian.

    Universalism sounds good and to an extent can make you feel good about yourself, but in the end I believe it is a tool of Satan to hide the truth of the Gospel:

    John 14:6 (NIV) - Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

    Thank you for sharing the Truth and for continually seeking it.  May God bless you and increase your faith daily.  Keep on!

  • Zee

    Zee May 22, 2010

    hey Jessica,

    came over here from Dusty’s blog.

    i have struggled with that statement too. after 7 years of struggles (well, those 7 years were the main ones, before it was just here and there…), i guess i became one of “those” Christians.

    i still think that you can see glimpses of God in other religions - i believe that God is one and only and He is the Creator of everything around us and in us. therefore, only a completely dumb person can miss Him. however, i also believe that God came to us in Jesus (well… Jesus was God, but i won’t get too theological / apologetic here) and we can say He changed the history of mankind. after all, even our calendars are “2010 AD” i.e. there’s time before and after His birth. no one else has impacted the history of the world in a deeper way. *shrug* IMHO. and if He said that He’s the way… well, He knew what He was talking about all the other times, so i believe these words too.

    anyway, looking forward to reading more of your posts. i like your style wink

    good luck with the quest smile

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